Today’s post is dedicated to all you mommas out there feeling anxious about the upcoming transition into having more children. That could be you’re going from no children to having your first, or maybe you’re going from three to four (not that I have much to share about that!).
With each transition I’ve experienced, I felt like I learned a little more so while I’m not an expert, I am hoping that what I have gained will somehow help someone else.
So here are five things I wish I could have been more grounded in during each transition we went through:
You’re not supposed to be good at this. Whenever we experience something new, we rarely ever allow ourselves the grace we need to fumble through it. But we need ALL the grace .. for ourselves and for those around us. You will get used it this. You will get better at this. But for now? Allow yourself to not be good at it. Do your best and let go of any and all expectations!
Embrace the chaos. I WISH someone would have grabbed me as a first time mom and looked me square in the eye and said “Stop trying to make everything perfect!” Babies cry. Toddlers have tantrums. Moms eat chocolate on the bathroom floor while they cry over too much laundry… or is that just me? It takes the same amount of energy to embrace as it does to resist. But embracing leads to peace in the midst of chaos while resisting leads to you guessed it! More chaos. Let go and enjoy even when it’s crazy.
Ask for help. Looking back now I realized that I for sure had a case of postpartum anxiety after I had Reese but I had no idea what that was until she was a year old and it had passed. I’m not necessarily saying you need to hire full time help or get on medication but I am saying that you need to pay attention to your soul and if it feels like it’s drying up, you need to tell someone you trust.
Milestones are overrated. Ok, so yes it’s important that you keep track of the recommended age appropriate accomplishments at different stages but be careful about falling into the comparison trap. People love to brag about how much their babies sleep and how they’re walking at eight months and practicing multiplication tables at their first birthday… but in most cases, it’ll all balance out. Before you know it, that baby that never napped will sleep all afternoon.
Get dressed every day. Don’t hate me for this one ok? After I had Reese I slid into a tee shirt and running shorts rut just about every day. It seemed like such a task to get dressed and put on makeup. But I realized after Rowen was a few years old that taking the time to take a few minutes to put myself together every day made a HUGE difference for me! Dry shampoo is a game changer I also lay my clothes out the night before so I don’t feel overwhelmed about what to wear. It doesn’t need to be fancy. It takes the same amount of energy to put on a tee as it does to put on a cute top from target.
Hope these thoughts are an encouragement! You’re doing a hard job and you’re doing a good job.